A Different Conversation about weight loss

Why weight loss isn’t about laziness and what actually drives change.

This is my first writing piece of 2026.
I usually take most of January off, so this is me officially showing up in February, can you believe it?

I wanted to start the year by talking about something I see constantly and something I feel really strongly about.

The way we talk about weight loss (and health in general) is often completely missing the point.

The problem with the “you’re just not trying hard enough” narrative

We’ve all heard it:

You’re not prioritising your health.
We all have the same 24 hours.
You just need to take action.
Stop making excuses.

This language is everywhere, on social media, in the wellness space, and often inside our own heads.

And honestly? It’s deeply unhelpful.

Because it creates shame, not change.

It leaves people feeling lazy, broken, or like they’re failing at something that should be simple, when in reality, human behaviour is anything but simple.

If shame worked, we’d all be walking around feeling incredible by now.

What’s actually going on: pain vs pleasure

Here’s what I believe is really happening when someone has a health goal, like weight loss and they’re not taking action.

It comes down to pain versus pleasure.

As humans, we’re wired for pleasure and safety. That’s not a flaw, it’s biology.

So when someone says,
“I really want to lose weight, but I’m not doing anything about it,” it’s not because they don’t care or they’re lazy. It’s because, on some level:

• The pleasure and safety of staying the same still outweighs the pain of staying there
  or

• The pain of making changes feels bigger than the pleasure of the outcome

That pleasure might look like:

• Chocolate at the end of a long day

• The couch after work

• Sleeping in

• The familiarity of doing what you’ve always done

Even if, logically, you know weight loss would improve your health or confidence.

The pain of where you are now simply hasn’t outweighed the comfort and familiarity of staying there………….yet.

On the flip side, it can also be this:

• Starting feels too hard

• Exercise feels uncomfortable or intimidating

• Changing habits feels overwhelming

• The gap between where you are and where you think you “should” be feels too big
  

• So your nervous system says, “Nope, too much.”

This isn’t a character flaw.
It’s how humans are wired.

Why “just take action” doesn’t work

Yes, action matters. There’s no getting around that.

Action creates momentum.
Action creates results.
Action creates confidence.

But if the action feels too painful, too overwhelming, or too far removed from where someone is right now, they won’t do it.

This is when I hear things like:

• “I need to exercise five times a week” (when they’re currently doing none)

• “I need to cut out gluten and dairy completely”

• “I need to overhaul everything”

That leap is simply too big to start with (it can be the end goal but it needs to be broken down to smaller parts).

The pain of the change outweighs the perceived pleasure, so the nervous system resists.
And then comes the shame.

The real work at the beginning

The work at the beginning of any health journey isn’t about pushing harder.

It’s about making things easier.
More realistic.
More pleasurable.

We need to create small wins that feel good now, not someday.

That might look like:

• Walking instead of intense workouts

• Finding movement you actually enjoy

• Adding protein before cutting anything out

• Changing one habit instead of ten

• Reducing dairy a couple of days a week, not forever

• Focusing on how you feel, not what you’re restricting

These small actions create momentum.

Momentum builds confidence.
Confidence leads to more action.
And slowly, the pain vs pleasure equation starts to shift.

You sleep better.
You feel stronger.
Your energy improves.
Your self-trust grows.

And that’s when lasting change begins.

Why this feels hard (and why you’re not broken)

This work goes against human nature.

We’re wired to stay safe, comfortable, and familiar.
We’re wired to avoid pain.

So yes, it is hard.

But that doesn’t mean it’s wrong.
And it doesn’t mean you can’t do it.

It just means you need a different starting point, one rooted in compassion, realism, and self-understanding instead of shame.

This is the work I love most.
This is the work that actually lasts.

And this is the work social media rarely talks about.

Because strategies are loud.
Depth is quiet.

Take a moment to reflect on your own health goals, where might you be staying safe, and how is that weighing up against the discomfort of change?

Much Love 

Cassandra